February 18, 2009

"I love you very much and think of you and Jeffy often. I miss you very much. Don't worry about me, I'm fine. This is no worse than DEP meeting, just longer. The hardest part is that they made me RCPO so I have to babysit 88 recruits and be held to a much higher standard. They tell me regularly that if I screw up (mispronounce something) they'll fire me as RCPO, but if I keep my job, I'll get a special collar device and lead my division's drills at [some word I can't read]. I love you!"

Blah Blah Blah

Sometimes you just don't want a title.

Things are going well for us. I still miss Jeff, but am concentrating on keeping busy and being a good mommy. I still get moments of sadness, but generally I'm feeling fine.

I'm going to hang out with a friend from Draper on Friday and on Saturday I'm going to hit Provo with my sister. Yay for friends! That's one thing I will miss when we're in a new place.

Jeffy's cute as ever. He waves bye bye to people now and is getting really social. I can't wait for him to go to nursery--only 5 more months! :) Somebody asked me in Walmart the other day if he was about two years old. Um, nope! He's only 13 months! He's a big kid! And he sure is fun to have around.

Well, that's it. Just wanted to spread the word that I'm ok and feeling better about life. Thanks for all the well wishes!

Jeff's Boot Camp Address

If anyone is interested in having Jeff's address, let me know and I'll pass it along. I was going to post it, but this is an open blog and I don't want Jeff getting weirdo stuff.

Whose Idea Was This?!

Well, it's begun. Jeff is in Illinois, on a bus, headed for nine weeks of boot camp. I'm stuck here, alone. He was pretty gung ho before about making a career out of the military, but after facing long separation for the first time today, he's coming around to my way of thinking--get training, get degree, get out. We'll see how he feels after surviving boot camp.

It's been a whirlwind of emotions the last few days. Yesterday, Jeff, Jeffy and I went to DEP--Delayed Entry Program headquarters--to do the last paperwork stuff. From there we went to the SLC Airport Radisson, where they put people before the ship out. Jeff got checked into his room and we went to the hotel restaurant for dinner. Good thing Jeff had a meal voucher! Those prices were way out of our comfort zone! He was just glad it was a nice hotel and not a trashy one like he had stayed at in Richmond for processing in Virginia. Jeffy proceeded to make a huge mess of our table, so we left a nice, bit tip. Jeff had a meeting that night at 8:30, so we got to spend a little time together after dinner. We (mostly I) decided that I didn't want to come all the way back home just to go back early in the morning to see him swear in, so I got a spur-of-the-moment hotel room (not at Jeff's pricey place, obviously) and Jeffy and I had an interesting night.

The next morning I packed up the kid, stopped at a grocery store for some breakfast and headed over to MEPS--Military Entrance Processing Station--for some . . . processing. Jeff had been there since 5 or 6 am. He got all his paperwork processed and passed his physical, etc., so at about 9:30 I went to some special room there and watched as an old Army Captain swore him and two other guys in. That was kind of fun to watch. One guy looked pretty scared; one guy looked apathetic; Jeff looked very serious. From there, we waited around for his travel arrangements to be made. Once they were finalized, Jeff took a cab to the airport and I met him there. I wish we could have gone together, but rules are rules!

The earliest flight they could get him was at 5 pm, and we got there a little after 11 am, so we had some time to burn. Jeffy was getting cranky due to lack of naps, and both Jeff and I were running low on energy as well. But we found a playplace, got some food and hung out for a while together. I was doing well and staying strong for a good long time and I was feeling confident that I could send him off with a smile, but that fell a little short. I pulled out a letter I was writing for Jeff to take with him, and as I wrote it, I started to weaken. I actually thought about how my life will be for the next nine weeks and I was doomed. I hadn't really thought about that before, mostly as a defense mechanism, I think. Anyways, the water works started and I had a hard time shutting them off. Jeffy was getting really ornery so he and I had to leave before Jeff actually borded. So he walked me back to security (I had been allowed past it because he's Military) and we said our goodbyes. I've been weepy ever since and expect to be for a few more days. I'm trying to be happy and calm around Jeffy, though. He's been especially fussy today--I think he can feel that mommy is sad. Poor little guy. I'm glad I have him.

I'm sure things will get better. I just have to tell myself that it's temporary and focus on goals that will make me happy and help me to progress. I sure am looking forward to that one phone call, though!

So if anyone is bored and looking for someone to hang out with, I'm your girl. I need all the friends and outings I can get.

The English Major In Me Tought This Looked Fun

One Word

Where is your cell phone..........................heaven
Your hair....................................................dark
Your father................................................integrity
Your favorite thing...................................baby
Your dream last night..............................weird
Your favorite drink...................................agua
Your dream/goal.......................................bakery
The room you are in.................................sewing
Your fear....................................................c-sections
Where do you want to be in 6 years......civilian
Muffins.......................................................blueberry
One of your wish list items......................furniture
Where you grew up..................................usa
The last thing you did...............................babynap
What are you wearing..............................clothes
Your TV......................................................packed
Your pets....................................................yuck
Your computer..........................................hiding
Your life......................................................nomadic
Your mood..................................................content
Missing someone........................................soon
Your car......................................................old
Favorite store............................................porters
Your summer.............................................uncomfortable
Your favorite color.....................................blue
When is the last time you laughed..........morning
Last time you cried...................................tuesday

Happy Birthday to Me!

I had a great birthday yesterday. I got a really nice card from my family in VA that everyone signed and that was really fun. That even came the day before my birthday, so I got to start the celebrations a little early this year! The morning of my birthday, Jeffy woke up at 5:30 am. A little earlier than I would have liked to get up, but oh well! We (Jeffy and I) finally got to go back to sleep at 7:30 and at 8:30 Jeff came down and surprised me with a lovely breakfast . . . but the best part of breakfast was what it was on. Jeff knew I really liked this plates set and he got it for me! So he served me a yummy breakfast on my new pretty plates. I was so surprised and excited! You can see them above. I really like them. They only came in a set of four, and are kind of pricey, so I was planning to save up the birthday money from my parents to buy another set, but was surprised again when my mother-in-law gave me another set later that morning! Jeff had convinced her that I wanted it and she got it. Yay! I now have a set of 8 really pretty dishes! So I'm thinking of buying some coordinate pieces with the birthday money instead. Jeff is always really cryptic when I try to ask him what he's doing for my birthday, so I had no idea what was coming and I was very pleasantly surprised. Want to know the kicker? I hadn't even shown this design to Jeff. I described it to him and he picked the right one just from that. Pretty impressive, huh?

So that was a great way to start the day. We had a nice relaxing afternoon. Jeffy was feeling better (whole different story) so Jeff and I felt comfortable going out without him. We left him with Jeff's mom and went to dinner at Olive Garden. We went all out and had a great evening. That's the first time we've been out just the two of us since November. Sad. Anyways, we really went crazy with the food! We got an appetizer pizza, which was surprisingly yummy. I got a virgin wildberry margarita, which was really yummy and a lot of fun! I even branched out and got something completely new for me: the chicken scampi. It looked a little weird, but tasted so good! Jeff got a grilled something or other and didn't like that as much. Dessert was definitely his favorite part of dinner. We got a piece of some kind of chocolate layer cake. I had a bite and it was really good, and Jeff loved it. It was so fun to be out together just the two of us. And we came home with a ton of food, too!

We got home, put the little guy to bed and had birthday cake! Jeff' mom made a great German Chocolate cake (yum!) and we had pecan praline ice cream to go with it. It was great and I had it for breakfast today too.

So, needless to say, I had a wonderful birthday--one that I will definitely remember! We're celebrating Valentine's Day next weekend, since Jeff's leaving on the 8th, so we'll get one more evening together before he leaves. I sure like being with him!

Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes and such. I sure love birthdays! :)

Happy Birthday Little Jeffy!

At 9:14 tonight, my little guy will turn one year old! It's been a great year, full of a rainbow of emotions.

His due date was January 5th, a date easy to remember because it's my mother-in-law's birthday. The 5th came and went with nothing. I was pretty disappointed--my mom's babies usually came early and I was really hoping to inherit that. I went in for a routine check up on January 8th. I thought I may be having contractions, but they didn't feel like I was told they were supposed to so I didn't say anything when we went in. I was told it would feel like your uterus was getting hard, etc., but I just felt like I was having period cramps. Anyways, we go to the doctor, who tells me that my blood pressure is pretty high and he wants me to go to the hospital for an induction. I was excited to get the show on the road, so we told that we'd go home, get the hospital bags, and head over to the hospital. We did that, but made a pit stop for a Big Mac, since we knew they wouldn't let me eat while in labor and stuff. I guess we took a little bit longer than we expected, since the hospital called to see if we were coming or what.

We got there, and I was kind of surprised at how long it took to get checked in. I got hooked up to all the machines, and we found out I was contracting (I knew it!) and they took my blood pressure again, this time with an arm band made for bigger arms, and it came out fine. Now I know for next time. My doctor decided to go ahead and induce me. That was really uncomfortable! I had never really thought about what it meant to be induced. I guess I just thought they gave you an oral dose of something like castor oil and that was it. Nope.

So, labor picked up. By now, it was about 6pm on the 8th. We'd been at the hospital for a couple hours, and would be there for quite a few more. I contracted and contracted all through the night, and was pretty proud of how well I did. Jeff was asleep in the chair next to me. I had some music playing on the laptop to help me stay calm.

Then labor really picked up. It's hard to describe what that felt like--partly because I've forgotten it, and partly because it's hard to find the right words. All I can say is . . . OWW! I had been determined to make it through without drugs, but by 11:00 am on the 9th, I had about reached my breaking point. I asked for a little relief and got something a little bit later. Yeah, it did absolutely nothing. Later that day I would come to the conclusion that drugs and my body don't work well together. After an hour of frustration from the lack of relief, I caved and asked for an epidural. I may be in denial, but I think this was the beginning of the reason I had a c-section (that and retarded doctors).

I got an epidural at noon. I was 8 1/2 centimeters dilated, exactly where I had been an hour before when I got the first medicine. The epidural kicked in and I felt a lot better. The only problem was that it totally stalled my labor. They had me lay on my side for some reason I can't remember, and that caused problems too. The epidural started wearing off on my side. I tell ya, feeling half of your body asleep and the other half in full blown labor is a very weird feeling. It also caused me to dilated fully on one side, while staying at 8 1/2 on the other. That was at 7 pm that night. Not much progress for 7 hours. Anyways, they said they wanted to give me one more hour to fully dilate. They thought the labor was taking too long. At this point, I had been in labor for 29 hours (just recorded time in the hospital). So for that last hour of labor, I tried to relax through the pain and will myself to dilate. Thankfully, it worked!

I was finally ready to push. That wasn't super fun. I worked at it for an hour with not much happening, and the nurse who was working with us called for the doctor to check. He did, and decided the baby wasn't coming out at all and recommended an emergency c-section. I REALLY did not want a c-section, but I wasn't really given a choice. They started prepping me and I tried to get over my devastation and prepare myself.

A little while later I was in the operating room. I was still hooked up to the epidural and they tried to give me the numbing stuff through that, but it didn't work. They would give me some, then prick me or something to see if I could feel it. Yeah, I could. I remember them saying that it wasn't working . . . .

Then I woke up. They had sedated me completely, cut me open, and taken my baby without me realizing it. And I thought I felt devastation when I realized I would have a c-section. That was the most horrible feeling I have ever, and may ever feel. Luckily, my mom had just gotten into town and I was able to bawl on her shoulder. It was about 10:00 pm. Jeffy had been born at 9:14 and was in the NICU. He weighed 9 lbs 9 oz and was 22 inches long.

I wasn't allowed to see him that night. I think it was because he wasn't allowed to leave the NICU and I wasn't allowed to leave my room because of the sedation. That was horrible too. Jeff, his parents, and my mom went to visit Jeffy and took lots of pictures and videos for me to see until I could meet him for real. I watched those videos about 50 times that night.

And that's the story of how my little man made it into the world. It's hard to believe it's already been a year. He has been the sweetest little guy. He is so good natured and loving. He has gotten super cuddly lately, and I love it. I just love him and am so grateful to have him in our family!



And just as a word to the wise, anyone who's pregnant in Rexburg--if you go to the ABC doctors (Allred, Barton, Crouch), you will most likely have a c-section, whether you want to or not. Every single person I've known who went to them had a c-section. Go somewhere else.