Miracle Baby

I haven't really told anyone, but I kind of think of Jonathan as our miracle baby.  First, a little recap.

After Katelyn was born, my hair started really falling out and I was feeling lousy.  I talked to my mom about those and some other symptoms I was having and she recommended I get my thyroid checked.  I did and I am a little hypothyroid.  So I've been taking a little purple pill everyday since then.  Well at least I am supposed to.  


One of the symptoms of hypothyroidism is depression.  A little while after Bekah was born, I ran out of my medicine and thought that I could probably beat the depression on my own without it.  But I wasn't thinking clearly and I forgot completely the reason that I was taking it-- that my body doesn't make enough of that hormone, which in turns makes all the other hormones in the body.  So I should have been taking it.  STUPID.  


Anyways, I finally realized what I was doing and went back on it.  After my thyroid stablized, I went in for a routine blood test and got all my endocrine hormones tested, along with many other things.  Most things were fine, but my estradiol levels (estrogen) were post-menopausal low.  Let me say that again.  My estrogen levels were POST-Menopausal low.  So basically I was experiencing early ovarian failure, and with that comes early menopause.  


I was shattered.  Here I was at 27 staring menopause in the face.  I was so terrified that my stupid mistake had caused my reproductive system to shut down and I wouldn't be able to have any more kids.  I felt so stupid and broken.  


This was right before Jeff left on a short patrol.  I was worried and he was worried.  He came home and we started trying to have a baby, not knowing if it would work, but knowing that we didn't want to lose any more time.  


Amazingly, I got pregnant very fast and here we are on the other end with our beautiful baby Jonathan.  I really was terrified that I couldn't have any more children, but somehow we got our baby.  I'm not sure how, since my levels were so low.  And there was the very real fear that my body wouldn't make the hormones necessary to sustain the pregnancy to term so I was scared of miscarriage like never before.  But everything went very smoothly and I was so very relieved and grateful.


So that is the short story of why I consider Jonathan to be my mini miracle baby. I still don't know if we'll be able to have more babies in the future, but we got our Johnny here and if we can't, I think we'll be ok. 


But now I know to take my medicine every single day!!

Jeffy, Katey, and Bekah had well baby visits today.  Three at once- wahoo!  It was a lot better than individual appointments with a bunch of extra kids dragged along.  Doing it like this from now on.

Anyways, here's their weight so I can remember it:

Jeffy: 47 lbs
Katelyn: 32 lbs
Rebekah: 29 lbs

They're all looking good!  Jeffy will be going back to speech therapy soon and Bekah's probably not going to have her cyst removed anytime soon.  Another yay!

Tired. Done for today.  Back tomorrow. :)

Tomorrow there will be a change in our routine.  Since baby was born I haven't been able to spend the time and put the big kids to bed like I used to.  It would take a good half an hour-- we'd all sit together on Jeffy's bed and read stories, sing songs, talk about our day, say prayers, and just be together.  I miss that and I'm sure they do too.  But that always seems like that's baby's crankiest time, so I just try to rush and get them in bed so I can help him stop crying.

But I think I'm going to put him in his bed or something and let him cry.  I think I really need that time with the kids.  They are happier and I feel like a better mom when we do that.  And crying doesn't hurt the baby. He does that anyways.

I'm looking forward to it.  I've missed that sweet time with my sweet babies. :)

Refit is the hardest part of a submariner's schedule.  At least that's my opinion, but I think most people would agree.  Refit is when the boat is in and the crew is doing maintenance on it before it goes back out.  It's hard because the sailors are on 3-day duty, which means they have a 24-hour shift once every three days, and usually 12-hours shifts for the next two.  So a sailor will work 7:00 am Monday to 7:00 am Tuesday, at which point he starts his Tuesday shift, then gets off at 7:00 pm.  Wednesday he'll be back to work at 7:00 am to 7:00 pm, then it starts over again with a 24-hour shift on Thursday.  Weekends are not excluded for duty days, but if you don't have duty, you can hope for it off. 

Not only are the hours exhausting, but the work is too.  So basically we see Jeff for a few hours every couple of days when he's in a state in which he can barely think let alone move.  Poor guy.  Poor family.

Here's why it's hard on me:

1) He's gone all the time, so the single parent thing kicks in.  I become responsible for everything-- the kids, the house, the cars, the administrative stuff, everything, because Jeff won't have a spare minute in a day to do it.  He gets home, says hello to the kids and plays with them for a few minutes (if they're even still awake) then it's off to bed to try to recover and gear up for the next day.

2) But he's still "home," so I still need to keep the house clean, the kids clean, make food, and do all that stuff.  I know, just plain awful right? :)  But when he's gone, I can skip the cleaning, skip the dinner or the bath, and it's no big deal.  But when he's kind of home, it makes a big difference for him when it's done so I need to do it.

3) And when life gets hard, people get cranky.  Especially the kids.  Enough said on that one.

So anyways, life during refit is hard.  Military life is hard.  I try very hard not to complain and this wasn't intended to be a complaint either.  Most of the people who read this blog aren't military and I thought they might be interested as to what it's like.

So yes, it can be hard.  But I know we were supposed to join the military, specifically the Navy nuke program.  And that's why I don't complain.  I'll write the story of why I know that another day.

I'm counting this as last night's post. :)

I've been making a few things for Cassidy's wedding-- advice cards and these little monogrammed medallions that are going on the centerpieces.  Her colors are black damask over white with splashes of yellow.  It's very elegant and pretty.

I've been doing these projects on my silhouette, which I LOVE.  Jeff got it for me for Christmas/birthday/valentine's day this last year, since he was going to be gone for all of them.  It is one of my most favoritest gifts ever.  It is essentially a cutting tool, but I use the design software for so many things too.  I love it!  I just finished the wedding stuff last night and it turned out great.  I can't wait to see the rest of the wedding, looks like it's going to look fabulous.

On a different note, I can't believe Cassidy is getting married!  Makes me feel like I must be getting old.  I'm the oldest, and she's the 5th and she's getting married!  Crazy.  But she found this guy who seems pretty much perfect for her, so there you go.  I am so excited to see everyone again in just a few weeks!   I met Jon at Christmas and he seems great.  Of course, Jeff was out so he couldn't come and he can't come to the wedding either.  Someday he'll get to see everyone again.  Poor guy.

Ok, this has turned a little more rambly than I intended.  Till tonight!

I'm tired and I don't have much to say tonight.  But I don't want to miss another day.

I've been doing a lot of baking lately.  Not great for losing the baby weight, but fun. :) I made white bread and banana bread on Friday, cinnamon rolls on Saturday and donuts on Sunday.  That was the first time I've ever made donuts and I want to try again and make them even better.  The kids and I have been enjoying the yumminess, with Jeff partaking every so often.

But I need to stop and refocus my energy on exercising.  That's my new big project!  No more babies at least for a while, so it's time to get as close to my old body as is possible.  I'm excited.  And even more excited to discover that housing has a fitness room in the community center with an activity room next for the kids to be in while I work out.  Awesome!  Last summer I was doing awesome and working out 1, sometimes 2 times a day and it's time to get myself back in gear.  Looking forward to it!

To breastfeed or not to breastfeed, that is the question.  Lately I've been wanting to quit breastfeeding and go all bottle.  It just takes so much time!  I feel like it would be a lot easier and faster to feed him with a bottle.  His tummy would get fuller faster and he might sleep better.  We could establish a regular routine and stick with it.  And I would have more time to do other kid stuff.

But even as I write this, I know I won't.  Just a dumb wish for more time, I guess.

On a different note, today went much better.  My big project for the day was taking the kids to the splash park.  That was a lot more fun. :)