Monday, February 14, 2011

Keeping Up With the Joneses ... and the Smiths ... and the Browns ...

We're coming up on a time of big changes for our family. Soon we will be moving to a new state, and will stay there for four years, maybe six! The longest we've been in one place since we've been married is 11 months, so four years is a long time! I'm really excited to really settle into a place and put down some semblance of roots.

We're thinking about buying a house. And we're thinking about getting a new van. The majority of Jeff and my conversations these days is about these things-- what we want, what we need, what we can afford, etc. In both cases, I want nicer ones than Jeff does.

I was thinking about this and I had to admit to myself that I want more than we can afford. I've gotten caught up in wanting what other people have. Family X has a really nice van. I want one. Family Y has a really nice house. I want one. And the list goes on. There are lots of people in similar circumstances as we are that have nicer things than we do. And I've latched onto the idea that we could have them too.

But I need to pull in the reigns. It's just not practical to get a nice new van and a nice new house. Just because someone else has something doesn't mean I need it or have to have it, or should have it. Sometimes it's hard to see people who have the things you want but don't have. I just need to keep reminding myself that nicer things will come later. Now is not the time for nicer things for us. There are higher priorities. So the dream will have to wait a little bit longer. It's not a bad thing, just something I have to get used to.

Someday, someday....


Karalee said...

Sometimes I have thoughts like that too. Then I have to realize that I see what other people have, but I don't see what other things they gave up instead. For example one person might have a nice house, but they don't travel as often. I would see their nice house, but I probably wouldn't notice the money they saved by traveling less. But when I look at myself I often see myself in terms of things I want.

So I have been trying to focus more on the things I do have (blessings) and to try to stop comparing so much. But it is still hard for me.

Congrads on being able to stay somewhere for a while. I will miss you when you go though.

Kestrel said...

I know just what you mean. We live in an extremely wealthy ward, and it gets very difficult sometimes because I go visit teach at their beautiful, professionally decorated houses and it just about kills me. We live in a nice house, yes, but it's not OUR house and I sometimes want to paint Toby's room, or

I try not to think about it. Or, really, what I do is tell myself that when we get out of debt, then I can have all the fun crap. so like in 50 years :)

debrajo said...

It's hard, I know! There was a conference talk about that.

Elder Hales said that the four most caring words for those we love are "We can't afford it."

Hang in there & keep praying--I believe the Lord will still send you blessings that will turn out to be "perfect" for what you need as well as some things you want even in the process of sacrificing now so times will be better later.

Dani said...

Just remember that the Joneses probably have so much debt they can't breathe. Everything looks nice on the outside but behind closed doors things are not pretty. There will come a time when those things are a reality. Hang in there. Just think, that is more house to clean anyway.