Last Wednesday, my dear grandma passed away. Today was her funeral in Missouri. I was so sad I wasn't able to go. A little over a month ago, she was admitted to the hospital for complications with diabetes and heart failure. It was clear at that time that she wouldn't be with us much longer. Although her health had been declining for a long time, this news still came as a shock to me and I had a hard time. I called and was able to talk to my grandpa for a little while, which was great. But Grandma wasn't in a situation to talk. My mom was able to go out there and help them get her released from the hospital and set up with hospice care at home. I'm glad she got that chance to say goodbye. Grandma didn't want to see a lot of visitors or spend her time chatting with people. She was tired and "ready to go home" and get a relief from the pain.
My grandma was an amazing woman. If I were to make all my decisions based on what grandma would do, I would lead a pretty stellar life. I should probably do that. I wrote her this goodbye letter a few weeks before she died. It was hard for me to articulate what I felt.
I want to keep a copy of it here so that I remember it.
Someone mentioned to me today that she and our little girl coming soon may be having conversations right now before little one comes to us, and that this little girl may just have a special guardian angel looking out for her. I like that idea. We plan on giving this little girl my grandma's middle name--Elaine. I hope baby girl will feel something of a connection with her, even though they never got a chance to meet in this life.
I love you Grandma. I'm grateful for the life you led, and the example you have been to me. Until we meet again, all my love,