Sunday, June 6, 2010

I'll Be Honest,

Church is really difficult.

Part of the problem is that I don't know how to control Jeffy, another part is that I'm usually alone, and there are probably other parts too.

Sacrament Meeting is a killer. Jeffy will not sit still, and if he sees some kid eating a treat, he goes berzerk because he's not getting any. It's really hard to try to control him, when I have to hold Katelyn. I can't put her down on the bench because she'll roll off, and I can't put her on the floor, because she'll crawl away. So making Jeffy be reverent is impossible.

I really need help. I don't know how to teach him the correct way to behave. Help!!

We're still new in our ward, so I don't really have any friends to help me. Today, though, a very nice lady helped me survive. She was sitting two rows ahead of us, and took Katelyn for a while so I could tame the beast. Then when the kids behind us started eating fruit snacks, and Jeffy started screaming, I took him out to the hall, then I heard Katelyn start screaming. Moments later, some other sister brought Katelyn out too. The nice lady dug around in my diaper bag and made a bottle for her and brought it to us. I was so grateful for her help, and tried really hard not to send mean vibes to the lady behind us who just looked disdainfully at Jeffy while her angels munched away on treats.

Then I spent the next two hours in nursery. I don't mind working in there, I just miss the association with the Relief Society. How am I supposed to make friends if I'm stuck in there? But it wasn't a calling, just substituting, so hopefully it won't be permanent.

With Sundays like this being the norm, it's hard to want to go to church. I skipped a lot in Charleston, because the task just seemed too daunting. But when we moved here, I decided that I was going to go to all three hours of church every single Sunday I was able. Some days I am able to not think about what it's going to be like, but on other Sundays, it takes every ounce of my will power to get us there.

Does anyone share in this struggle? Any words of advice or comfort?


Laura said...

I've not been in your situation but, something that's different in the UK than here is that mother's don't carry their kids everywhere. It's normal and common for a kid to sit in it's buggy (stroller?) in church. Maybe it'd be helpful for you to have Katelyn in a stroller so she won't roll or crawl anywhere and you can tame the Jeffy beast?

I know if she isn't used to sitting it then it's probably going to make it more of a hassle but it's just a suggestion. It'd free up at least one of your hands :)

You're doing a great job though.

As for subbing in Nursery just say "no" and don't feel bad about it. We all have our limits.

Jeff and Bethany Davis said...

That's a good idea! Or maybe Jeffy can sit in the stroller. I like the idea of restraints! :)

Liz Taylor said...

I am fairly new at this mothering thing. Between nannying and boys now, this is what we do and it usually works pretty good for us.

We have special toys and books that only come out on Sundays. That way it's like Christmas every sunday. They love LOVE magna-doodles.

We got snack traps. They LOVE those. We fill them up with cheerios or pretzels.

As crazy as it sounds, try sitting on the front row. There are a lot fewer distractions.

Dani said...

Bethany, I am in the same boat as you. Bob has to work a lot of Sundays so I end up going by myself. Now that I have three of them it is really hard. I was not a big fan of snacks in church but I have changed my mind. I take snacks with me and I also take lots and lots of activities to do. Ian would scream and throw fits all the time and he is starting to outgrow it. I also have consequences for misbehaving in church and the boys know what they are and they hate them. Jeffy might too little to understand that but it might be worth a try. Hopefully you can meet some ladies that can help you but I understand that being in nursery makes it hard. I wish I could help more but I do understand how you feel.

Bre said...

I know how you feel!! When Ethan was younger it was really hard during Sacrament (it still sometimes is, and he's 6!). But when he was younger, I would give him snacks one at a time (it took longer and distracted him because he had to eat the fist one before he got another). I would also have a notebook and we would trace each other's hands and I would draw random animals, etc. Like your friend suggested-magnadoodles are awesome, too! I also had a "Sunday Bag" that only had things in it that he could play with during church. Every so often I would go to Five and Below (like a dollar store but everything is $5 or less) and pick up a couple new things for the Sunday Bag. This helped tons! Of course, I only had one to entertain... but I've watched a lot of people in my ward and they keep their babies in their car seats during sacrament... Just a thought-I hope these ideas help! Keep us posted on how the next couple of Sunday's go! And just remember-you are NOT alone!

Jeff and Bethany Davis said...

Thanks everyone for the good ideas and support! Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one with a monster kid. Mine always seems the loudest. :)

You've given me some great ideas. Thank you. I'm definitely going to give them a try, and hopefully we'll have something better to report next week!

Kestrel said...

Sticker books and magnet books are good. We do the snack traps, and I bribe Toby if he is being super good he gets chocolate, and if I have to take him out I get him to go back inside with the promise of chocolate if he's good.

We always try to sit on a side pew so the wall traps him in with us.

We also do the Sunday bag. Good luck. We were inactive for a loong time rather than go to church with a screaming kid, but Toby loves nursery so that really helps.

rodprice said...

One kid and two parents are hard enough. Two kids and one parent has got to be really tough.

Do you have home teachers? visiting teachers? Could one or more of them be persuaded to help out? If not that, perhaps your bishop could be persuaded to assign someone.

~Kimi~ said...

I think your top priority is enlisting some help. I wish it could be me!