Learning

Today I realized I the frazzled and overwhelmed feelings I was having were due to my house getting messy.  I've been really good lately about picking up everyday and keeping everything relatively under control.  But yesterday was a busy day and I didn't have a chance to do any maintenance, so it was slipping down hill. Today was kind of busy too, but it wasn't anything super important, and I couldn't figure out what was making me feel so frantic.

Then I realized the mess was causing my anxiety, so I cleaned and felt a lot better.  I think I am actually becoming one of those people who enjoy cleaning.  It's happening very slowly, but I am noticing huge differences in my mood depending on the state of my house (duh).  Before, (in NY) I would be feeling very discouraged and depressed, and would try to do things to feel better.  But those were the WRONG things.  Eating and watching tv did not help, it just made me spiral down more.  But now I know that when I'm feeling down, I need to do the things that are going to result in a happy feeling.  The act of eating something yummy is definitely more enjoyable than the act of cleaning the kitchen. But the end result of cleaning is a much happier feeling than the guilt and other bad feelings that are the end result of eating. Another lesson learned.

Anyways, this isn't what I really intended to blog about today, but it's what came out.  So there you go!