I haven't really told anyone, but I kind of think of Jonathan as our miracle baby. First, a little recap.
After Katelyn was born, my hair started really falling out and I was feeling lousy. I talked to my mom about those and some other symptoms I was having and she recommended I get my thyroid checked. I did and I am a little hypothyroid. So I've been taking a little purple pill everyday since then. Well at least I am supposed to.
One of the symptoms of hypothyroidism is depression. A little while after Bekah was born, I ran out of my medicine and thought that I could probably beat the depression on my own without it. But I wasn't thinking clearly and I forgot completely the reason that I was taking it-- that my body doesn't make enough of that hormone, which in turns makes all the other hormones in the body. So I should have been taking it. STUPID.
Anyways, I finally realized what I was doing and went back on it. After my thyroid stablized, I went in for a routine blood test and got all my endocrine hormones tested, along with many other things. Most things were fine, but my estradiol levels (estrogen) were post-menopausal low. Let me say that again. My estrogen levels were POST-Menopausal low. So basically I was experiencing early ovarian failure, and with that comes early menopause.
I was shattered. Here I was at 27 staring menopause in the face. I was so terrified that my stupid mistake had caused my reproductive system to shut down and I wouldn't be able to have any more kids. I felt so stupid and broken.
This was right before Jeff left on a short patrol. I was worried and he was worried. He came home and we started trying to have a baby, not knowing if it would work, but knowing that we didn't want to lose any more time.
Amazingly, I got pregnant very fast and here we are on the other end with our beautiful baby Jonathan. I really was terrified that I couldn't have any more children, but somehow we got our baby. I'm not sure how, since my levels were so low. And there was the very real fear that my body wouldn't make the hormones necessary to sustain the pregnancy to term so I was scared of miscarriage like never before. But everything went very smoothly and I was so very relieved and grateful.
So that is the short story of why I consider Jonathan to be my mini miracle baby. I still don't know if we'll be able to have more babies in the future, but we got our Johnny here and if we can't, I think we'll be ok.
But now I know to take my medicine every single day!!
The Happiness Trap
2 days ago