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4 months ago
Thursday, July 12, 2012
I feel spent. Today was a long, hard day and the worst part is that I feel I brought it on myself. This afternoon I decided to paint another wall in the toy room. Why do I take on such big projects when I have 4 little people who need me pretty much constantly? No more big projects. Time to focus on the kids. It's time to get Katelyn to obey no matter what. That in itself would make my life a lot easier. Anyone have any tips on that front?
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3 comments:
I have heard there is a book, something like "Raising Godly Tomatoes" that is supposed to be excellent on discipline. I have also heard "parenting: a house united" by nicholeen peck is supposed to be phenomenal, but I don't know - I have a copy but I haven't read it yet. It seems like it would be better for older children, but I'm ready for any help I can get.
I think John Rosemond is a child-rearing genius and I really like the stuff I've read of his.
Write more about Katelyn and her discipline problems. I would like to hear about it. Toby is awful and I can't get him to do anything. Sure, he's on the autism spectrum, but he still needs to figure out how to listen and obey.
Sometimes the only thing that works is telling him "you can't do that." as in, "you can't eat your dinner. Don't eat it." and then he snarfs it down. I HATE doing that because it's like teaching him to disobey/do the exact opposite, but when it comes to making him eat, I get desperate sometimes.
I notice that when I speak slower, Daisy obeys better. Otherwise, it seems like she doesn't even hear what I'm saying.
"Daisy! ... Go. Eat. At. The. Table. Right. Now."
Just an idea!
All my best parenting advice I got from my mom. She's taught me that when dealing with little kids, you have to be quick and firm. Don't reason with them. They don't listen beyond the first 4 words you say. They respond to simple, firm direction. "Sit. Stop. Quiet. No. Drop it. Hot. Yucky..." you get the idea. When they don't obey, you have to immediately follow with a punishment the child doesn't like. Every child is different with that, but whatever it is, they should hate it- be it a spank, removing a toy, sitting in a time out chair, whatever it is, it has to be undesireable, and immediately after the bad behavior, so he/she can connect the punishment with the bad behavior. The last time I talked to my mom about it, she said it honestly shouldn't be much different than training a puppy. Firm, quick, obvious, and any moments not spent disciplining should be full of snuggles and love. I hate the new-age psycho-analyzing with toddlers. Toddlers don't discuss, they don't premeditate, they don't listen. They just do. They'll react to love, they'll react to firm commands. They're sweet and simple, not complicated.
Anyway, that's my mom's philosophy, and it's worked well for me and my kids! Even Ben, who's just barely one, stops when I say, "No". Good luck, parenting is hard, especially with a baby and exhausted mom in the house! It's worth it though. :o)
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